Father’s Day is the perfect time to thank your Dad for their hard work, sacrifices, life lessons and everything else that helped you become who you are today. Apart from celebrating Father’s Day, take this opportunity to talk about something important. No, not about his favorite sports team or his dream car. Take this opportunity to have a deeper conversation that concerns his future and as well as the whole family.
It’s important to find out your father’s plan in the future. Does he want to try a new hobby, go around the world or start a small business?
But what’s more important is figuring out whether he is financially sound during retirement and he has his affairs in order. Most families may want to avoid discussing these things during Father’s Day. But, delaying it might cause your dad more harm than good.
If you don’t know where to start the conversation, you can refer to these talking points.
Check their Physical Health
Asking your dad how is he feeling won’t cut it. He can just brush it off or simply answer that he feels fine. Ask specific questions like how often does he visit his doctor or what medications is he taking? You need to dig deeper and ask other questions that might give you an idea of their current physical health.
You can also find out if your dad is in good health by observing him. Does he look like has only a few hours of sleep, does he have difficulty going up the stairs or his appetite decreased? So be wary of these warning signs that your father is not that healthy as he was before.
Having a conversation about your dad’s health condition is very important since it can help prevent serious illnesses and emotional burden on your family.
Talk about Mental Health
Mental health is as important as physical health that if left unchecked can snowball into a huge problem that can affect family dynamics. Again, observe your dad’s behavior and watch for signs if he’s starting to forget things or get confused. It’s also important to find out if your dad feels lonely or isolated since this is one of the serious aging issues today.
Start the Long-Term Care Conversation
Around 7 out of 10 of Americans 65 years old and above will require some form of long-term care. But despite this, many still choose not to plan for it. In fact, around 54% of Americans 40 and above have done little or no planning for long-term care.
It’s important to ask your dad if he has started planning for long-term care. If he hasn’t started planning yet, then help him get started. The cost of long-term care continues to rise today and without a plan in place, your dad’s retirement savings might get wiped out because of these expensive care expenses.
You can help him start planning by helping him explore his options like long-term care insurance, which helps fund long-term care services and facilities due to old age, illness, injury or accident. Another option is Medicaid but it only helps low-income seniors.
Ask if They Have a Retirement Plan
Men are known to be more aggressive when it comes to planning their finances. But no matter how confident and sure your dad is, you still need to ask about his retirement plans. Based on a survey, 30% of men don’t have retirement savings and 22% have saved less than $10k.
Your dad might not be comfortable talking about his money. Actually, nobody wants to talk about his finances. But this Father’s Day, make it a point to make your dad understand that you’re just doing this to make sure that he’ll live the kind of retirement he deserves.
So, find out where his retirement income will come from. Ask if he has savings plans, is he anticipating receiving a pension and when does he plan to file for Social Security. Also, check if they are spending more than their retirement income. If it doesn’t break even at the very least, then that’s the time you offer helping your dad plan their finances or suggest that he seek a financial planner.
Living Arrangement
It’s becoming common for aging individuals to move in with their adult children once they reach a certain age they can no longer live independently and they need assistance in carrying out activities of daily living – eating, bathing, dressing, toileting, transferring and continence.
But the question is does your dad want to move in with you?
There’s only one way to find out. Ask him where he plans to live when he gets older. Is he considering living in an assisted living facility? Does he want to age in place? Does he want to live close to his family?
Having a conversation about these issues early can prevent family conflict, especially when you and your siblings aren’t prepared to take care of your dad.
Talk about Expectations
Managing the expectation of your father is hard especially if he’s the type who is not vocal about the things he wants or expects from you. Reading someone’s mind is impossible, so you need to find out what your dad expects from you during his golden years.
In case you can’t do things for them because you have other responsibilities or you live far from him, make sure to explain why you can’t do them and offer alternative ways to manage their expectations.
Discuss End-of-Life
Talking about end-of-life and finding out if your dad has living wills are vital and not because you want to know how much your dad will leave behind when he passes away. But, to make sure that your dad’s medical wishes, the type of funeral they want and what will happen to their estate.
Talking about Unfulfilled Dreams
This is probably a breath of fresh air among the list of things you should discuss with your dad this Father’s Day. Asking your dad about his unfulfilled dreams might even inspire him to make them come true. Now is the best time to help your dad make his dreams come true. In the process, you and your dad will have the chance to bond more and get closer together.
Are You Ready to Talk to Your Dad this Father’s Day?
Most of these topics will be touchy so make sure that you show respect and care while talking to your father. Keep in mind that you’re doing this to help him plan ahead and to make sure that he’ll live a comfortable life during his golden years. Also, these conversations will benefit you in the future so it’s best to do it now.